Lily passed today.
She had made her customary but mysterious journey from the other side of the meadow late morning.
She was thin and breathing hard.
She’d not been well when we left for the book tour of the States.
While we were gone her right ear began to bleed profusely and house sitters nephew Dom and partner Deming had to clean up.
Julie, the traveling vet with a van, came at 2.45 this afternoon and said the tumer on her ear was metastasizing into her lungs–which was why she was finding it hard to breath.
The three of us were in unspoken agreement that this was the moment–the right time.
It is always hard to know.
I dug a hole and we buried her under the trees in the garden, next to Pippa and Lucien.
She was a remarkable mother–gave us three litters.
Meredith found homes for all of them except Blackie, her all black daughter, who preferred to stay close but outside–a chip off the old block.
She suffered in the heat of the summer of 2003; carrying her kitties across the fields in search of food and safety.
It burned her ears permanently.
We never learned where her home was or if she ever really had one.
You wouldn’t describe her as a companionable cat, she was too busy surviving–but she liked it here and knew there would always be something on offer to eat.
Lately she’d been happy to show us some affection and a disinclination to leave.
Indomitable is a word for her.
Robin Ellis 
Aah, always sad! xx
Sent from my iPhone
>
Sorry to hear your sad news The loss of a pet/companion/friend is always distressing but your memories will keep her alive.
How very heartbreaking, Robin and Meredith, but I’m so very grateful that she “waited” till you both returned to love you some more before leaving. She’ll be with you, though, she’s not really gone.
Tears are welling in my eyes as I type these words. We are all joined together in our love for our cat families . . . we’ll all connected and we share the good things and the sad when it comes to our cats.
I can tell you have been in USA! The spellings on your post are American English (an oxymoron?) and I quite expected a piece about a cat passing through your property.
Isn’t it strange that these days we don’t use the word ‘died’? It is the only certainty and yet we use all kinds of euphemisms for it.
I’m sorry to hear about Lily, but you did the right thing – why prolong her suffering?
If one believes (as I do) “passing away” is not a euphemism but refers to the soul’s passing on to the next life.
I am American but prefer to use proper British spelling–this probably makes me appear to be a snob but I don’t care. We’re not all barbarians, you know.
I use ‘passing over’ or ‘passing through the Veil’. With Mithril in 1995, and Cody-dog on the 27th October, I held each of them as their souls left their bodies. Cody was adopted, with his companion Maxi, as older dogs. As a poodle mix, they were the “cats of the dog world”. Cody probably had kidney failure, which symptoms I know in cats, but not in dogs. He was too miserable to keep in pain and discomfort. I expect he went with Hecate’s Hounds through the Veil to meet Maxi again.
How sorry I am! And glad you were there to help her pass, calmly and peacefully! Bless you both.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Each feline friend owns a piece of your heart. I agree with the comments that she waited until you returned from your trip. Thank you for opening your heart and home to pretty Lily.
We had to put our dog to sleep after having him for 16 years. He looked and acted like a 8 year old even though he had 2 operations for cancer, had epilepsy and cushing’s syndrome for many years but at the end was only ill for the last 6 hours of his life, a new cancer tumour that blocked everything within hours. The SWEETEST dog ever. I sat in the car for 2 hours when I got home, couldn’t face going inside and him not there. They take up most of your heart and leave a huge hole when they leave. All pets or animals give unconditional love. All children should grow up with a pet, they learn a lot about life, love, and responsibility from them.
exactly. I’m still processing losing Cody.
Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.
So sorry to hear about your sojourning friends’ passing. Sounds like she was a free-spirited and very passionate mother who found compassion at your door. May she move on to feline heaven where there’s kitty bon-bons and comfy verdant dells to sleep in by running streams.
Very sorry for your loss, Robin and Meredith.
Goddess speed, Lily! With deepest condolences to her family.
What a wonderful and touching story about Lily. Though she had her nomadic lifestyle, Lily knew she had a place to rest.
So sorry for your loss. She was a pretty kitty and very luck to have you and Meredith to look out for her and provide for her.
Pam
Sent from my iPhone
>
So sorry ,at least she didn’t die alone and unloved ,run wild run free sweet baby .
What a lovely tribute to a special creature. It says so much that she trusted you at the end to make the right decision for her.
It was wonderful to see you and Meredith (and Irv!) in Arlington, and to get our ‘selfie’ updated!
Best,
Nina
So sorry for the loss of a precious member of your family. I am caring for my 18 year old Westie as she passes her last days. You should frame that sweet picture of Lily. It is beautiful. Sorry I was not able to see you on your recent book tour. Perhaps you can visit New Orleans next time. I love the new Poldark series and your performance but….the first series was far better!😊 Sincerely Barbara Boling Oxford, Mississippi
Sent from my iPhone Barbara Boling
>
” MAY A FLIGHT OF ANGELS SING HER TO HER REST ….”
I TOO AM A CAT MAMA ALL MY LIFE AND IS STILL DIFFICULT WHEN THEY CROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE
Condolences So hard to lose them even when we know it is time. They do leave a whole in your heart
RIP, Lily, I raise my glass in your honour and think of my black cat Phoebe who died from a tumour in her ear last January. That horrible decision of putting a cat out of pain when the cat is fighting to survive.
So sorry to read about your loss. So soon after Pippa, too.
I hope all the remaining four-legged members of the family are doing well!
Well. All the dauntless mothers of this world. ❤️ It seems to me your dear little ones have a wonderful life with you; important to remember when the sad hour comes to part, with these pure and precious friends from whom we would never willingly be parted….
So sorry for your loss……love cats each one a character …..a unique species and will always be my favourite animal…X
Robin & Meredith Our Deepest condolences on the loss of your beautiful ‘Lily’. As servants to two beautiful Siamese and several beauties in the past, we know how much they mean and what it is like when they pass. Doug and I can particularly understand how you must feel losing cats after retuning from abroad. This happened to us twice, once from India & the second from China. Our little loved ones passed within the week of our return. We were devastated. Cats give such love and loyalty, a bond so close to our hearts. Lily was so very lucky to find you and Meredith and at the end she gave you the gift of her love to show you how she much really felt for you both for every bit of love you shared with her. Our very best wishes, Diane & Doug.
Sent from my iPad
Sent from my iPad >
Despite her challenging life, she died cared for and with ease–without the two of you as a refuge , she would have suffered longer. She knew where to come. Condolences, but my respect for your care.
My condolences for Lily. She knew with Meredith and you she had found good people. She came to you like a little blessing, wandering until she found the right nook.
Bless you for the love you gave her. x
If you’ve never read Doris Lessing’s On Cats, she has two remarkable — memorable — portraits of two cats who lived with her. One of them was (as I recall) centrally indomitable. It might solace a little to read of another real survivor in the cat kingdom. Cats are turning up in movies more: I don’t know if that’s good (as they must have to be trained). But there they are and one very touching film I recommend, Swedish, A Man Named Ove has a cat as a central presence (if silence most of the time). I find such things help.
I’m so sorry for you loss. What a beautiful fur friend she was…meows and love…E
She knew she could count on the two of you and that she was home. A very beautiful white lady. She waited for you to get home. Cats are such amazing animals, wise and profound in their own way. Thoughts for Lily and you two.
I’m very sorry. You and Meredith gave Lily a good home.
So sorry to hear about your poor Lily – it’s always so hard to make that final decision isn’t it? We recently said goodbye to our Felix aka FatBayFat. So difficult, but full of fond memories.
Truly sorry to hear of Lily’s passing. Claire (above comment) mentions The Rainbow Bridge. On the off chance that you and Meredith are not familiar with this poem, here it is. I can’t help myself, I always start crying when I read it and remember all the darling pets I have lost over the years – they’ll all be waiting for me at the Bridge….
The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend
By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,
Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.
Where the friends of man and woman do run,
When their time on earth is over and done.
For here, between this world and the next,
Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.
On this golden land, they wait and they play,
Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.
No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,
For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.
Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,
Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.
They romp through the grass, without even a care,
Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.
All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,
Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.
For just at that instant, their eyes have met;
Together again, both person and pet.
So they run to each other, these friends from long past,
The time of their parting is over at last.
The sadness they felt while they were apart,
Has turned into joy once more in each heart.
They embrace with a love that will last forever,
And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.
© 1998 Steve and Diane Bodofsky. All Rights Reserved.
What a beautiful poem!
I have never heard of this, so thank you for sharing it.
How lucky she has been to find a caring couple like you. “The Indomitable” knew she was not alone. Un abbraccio. Paola
I am so sorry for your loss. It never gets any easier. We have one of our cats getting frail and soon be passing over the rainbow bridge too. We just aren’t sure how much longer it will be. I am glad that you were able to make it back home in time to ease her pain and be with Lilly when the time came.
My sympathies, my tears, and my hope that the pain will someday mellow to a dull twinge. These souls leave paw prints on our hearts, and leave us with a love that goes beyond time and space.
So sorry about Lily. She may not have given you unlimited affection because she was so independent but I know she knew she was loved.
My heart goes out to you. As with people, our pets pass, diminishing the world they leave behind
I am reading your post and all the comments with tears in my eyes. I’m glad you were home when this happened so you could be there to comfort her. Poor Lily. She was lucky to have you there all these years to care for her and give her a little love. See–she knew what house she’d be safe at, even if she preferred her independence! So very sorry, Robin and Meredith…
Dianne & Gene
I’m so very sorry to hear of Lily’s passing. She was such a dear soul. These beautiful animals capture your heart and won’t let go.
One of our cats, Jazz, has just been diagnosed with diabetes and we now have to inject him with insulin every 12 hours. It’s not easy for him or us, but at least we have the opportunity to assist him back to a happy and healthy life. Every moment with our wee furry friends is a blessing and after reading your heartfelt homage to Lily, it makes me cherish the moments even more.
Thank you Robin.
So sorry to hear about Lily, it is so upsetting to lose a furry friend. We lost our cat Ollie in February this year after 19 years of having his love and friendship, he was always there when we were ill or under the weather, they seem to know when things aren’t right. We miss him today as you will miss Lily in the months to come. Thinking about you.
Sincere sympathy for the loss of Lily. It is always such a dreadful wrench when a loved cat leaves, but you and Mrs. Ellis provided her with a safe and loving refuge while the Good Lord allowed her to be here on earth.
I hope your new book does very well and am glad that you both enjoyed your visit on our side of the Pond and arrived safely home.
I read about Lily’s death with great sadness. It was poignant that she waited for you and trusted you to be with her at the end.She lived her life as she wished and yet had you as a refuge when she needed help.
My condolences to you both.
So sad to hear of Lily’s passing. I always enjoy reading about your cat family. You must take comfort in the fact you both provided her with a safe haven. Cats only stay where they are happy and welcome.
My condolences to you both.
Evy Eversley
Our pets stay with us in spirit & in our hearts.
Dear Robin and Meredith, how your hearts must be heavy with the pain of loss, but please take comfort from the fact that you gave her a good home, food and love – and Lily loved you or she could have left you ages ago. I’m so sorry for your loss. Earth has lost its sparkle but Heaven has gained a new twinkling star, forever remembered with love.
Such wonderful-filled creatures . I love cats.
Meredith Robin our condolences on the passing of your lovely white puss cat
She may have been a roamer, but she new where she would always find a welcome home.She will be with your other lovely cats, they will all watch over those who cared for them.Regard Elaine & Jimmy 💌
Saddened to hear the news Robin but I know that neither you nor Meredith would have wanted her to suffer any more. You have acted with kindness xx
Thank you, Dorinda.
She stayed around your home because of the love and care she got from you and Meredith. And, you were there for her when she needed you at the end. Yes, it is hard for us to judge the “right” moment, but our animals let us know. My condolences for the loss of this little friend – she was so pretty.
So, so hard to make the decision ,saluting you and Lily .
My first comment here , I should add I love your recipes !
Welcome Susanna and thank you–very glad you find the recipes to your taste!
I’m sorry. It’s so hard to lose a kitty friend.
Sad to hear about Lily’s passing. Our shelter-dog Cody, passed the veil last week, apparently decided I was his when he and Maxi came to live with us. I don’t understand why, as I’d never lived with a dog, but sometimes I’d swear my late cat Mithril had come to inhabit his body, gender and species notwithstanding. Can’t have cats while my husband is alive, due to his allergies, alas. I miss being around them.
I hope the other cats adjust to her absence easily.
I am so behinds with your posts.
So sad to read about the passing off your friend.