“Big Ears” with Molly and Trike on the Heath Extension
It’s the summer of 1946, approaching 4pm one afternoon, in the kitchen of a house in Hampstead Garden Suburb, north London.
Molly Ellis (age 31) is coming to terms with life as a full-time housewife in post-war Britain, looking after her young son in a bigger house than she’s ever known.
She’s coping– but this afternoon her friend Rita, “Auntie Rita,” is coming to tea–and Molly is not happy about it.
“Just one more thing–the day isn’t long enough; wish Rita wasn’t coming today!”
The front door bell rang and four-year-old Big Ears, goes to open it while Molly takes the scones from the oven.
“Mummy doesn’t want YOU to come to tea today….”
We never saw Auntie Rita again!
* * * * *
It’s stressful cooking for a family–however much you enjoy it–and my mother enjoyed it.
She did this for a lifetime–for a family that grew to five.
With younger brother Peter and Jack (a babe in arms).
No sign of pressure, no complaining–regular as clockwork.
(The Auntie Rita episode is the only time I can remember the pressure getting to her. Maybe she really didn’t like Rita!)
Ma had staying power–the stamina of a professional.
Her duty is how she might have characterized it. Christmas cakes started in September, a little brandy added every month. Home-made marmalade with the bitter oranges from Seville bottled every February. The weekly roast on Sunday stretched ’til Wednesday–cold on Monday, minced on Tuesday. Good home husbandry! I was the admiring sous-chef, specializing in licking out the bowl.
I’m not cooking for a family–but I do cook twice a day.
Of course, I have the time–well usually–and the inclination (usually).
Many people have neither–or maybe one, but not the other.
Shame–they are missing out!
(Not how they might see it, perhaps–“better things to do….”)
As a Type 2 diabetic (my mother was Type 1 and had to inject insulin), cooking puts me in control of what I eat which is a huge advantage.
I like the “day-to-dayness” of it–the regularity.
Perhaps I thrive under the pressure.
Early days as an actor, usually on my way to the unemployment office known as the Labour Exchange, I often thought how much happier I’d be sitting behind a desk, answering the odd phone call–a rosy view of a 9-to-5 job! Or maybe gardening in the fresh air–honest toil.
Then the phone would ring–a job!
Now, I cook twice a day–lunch and dinner.
There’s my pressure.
Enough of this idle musing…
From my about-to-be-published third cookbook, Mediterranean Cooking for Diabetics—Delicious dishes to control or avoid diabetes. (Launching TOMORROW, March 3rd)
Smoky cauliflower soup
Cauliflower is not everyone’s first choice as a vegetable–let alone as a soup.
But this soup usual wins over even the most doubtful….
We love it– and marvel that something SO delicious comes from such simple ingredients:
The key ingredient is smoky bacon.
1 large cauliflower--broken into florets
2 cloves of garlic–chopped
1 medium onion–chopped
2 oz smoked bacon–chopped
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 bay leaves
1 litre/2 pints stock
salt and pepper
- Gently heat the oil in a pan and sauté the bacon bits until they colour a bit.
- Add the garlic and onion.
- Cook the mix on for five minutes until the onion has softened.
- While this happens break up the cauliflower into florets and add to a large saucepan.
- When ready add the onion and bacon mix to the cauliflower pan with the bay leaves and the stock.
- Cover and bring this mix up to the simmer and cook until the cauliflower is tender.
- Lift a couple of tablespoons of the mix out of the pan and into a bowl with a slotted spoon letting the liquid fall back in the pan
- Liquidise the contents of the pan and test the seasoning.
- Use the set-aside florets to garnish the soup and serve hot.
Meredith asked, “What is this? It’s so creamy? Does it have potatoes in it?”
“Cauliflower soup,“ I replied, somewhat sheepishly.
(Somehow cauliflower is not a vegetable that’s easy to own….)
It’s delicious!
Robin Ellis 
Wonderful memory of your mother and a lovely recipe, too. I am reminded of my own mother, who worked at an office job in the mid-1940s, but eventually opted for marriage, motherhood and life as a housewife. She cooked well enough, though I’m fairly sure she didn’t love doing it or entertaining (at least not as much as I do now), but she embraced it, too, like so many others of her generation, simply as a duty about which she never complained. The inherent stoicism of so many from that generation of women continues to amaze and impress me.
That said, it does explain why my dad often shuttled us all off to a favorite Italian restaurant on Saturday evenings, or he would bring home full take-out meals from the same restaurant – always a pleasant break from the daily routine for my mother, and a happy alternative cuisine for us all. Both parents are gone now, but the restaurant remains, and although I don’t get there often, it’s a comforting and happy food memory whenever I do.
Thanks for the reminder of growing up in the family kitchen…and beyond.
Thanks to you too, Leslie–lovely reminisce.
What a tasty idea! I am going to prepare this tomorrow! Special thanks,😊 Barbara Boling Oxford, Mississippi
Sent from my iPhone Barbara Boling
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Auntie Rita oh dear reminds me of my young daughter, now 30, told my mother in law ‘my mummy doesn’t like you’! Her reply was just ‘Oh’ I never knew until recently so she obviously never held it against me!! Talking of mums, mine used to cook the same meal on the same day of the week! There were vegetables I never knew existed until I met hubby who had a far wider variety eating experience! (She was very good at sewing tho!) Which is why I am trying your different recipes because you turn the vegetable supporting actors, sprouts,cauli,cabbage, into the stars of the show and you put alot of yourselves into your books so mine’s on pre-order!
Thanks Sally–I hope you enjoy cooking from it.
I do!!
Oh how I love to receive your emails and as always it is a good read, I love Cauliflower , what lovely memories to have of your younger days too, Oh and I am a type 2 also and will be getting the new book when it is out, will you let us know when it is available through your email please. Roz, Pays de la Loire France
Tomorrow, Roz–I’ll post on it.
I’m one of those people who love Cauliflower in any way, shape, or form. This looks wonderful. Can’t wait to make it. Enjoy your reminisces. My mother is 92 and you inspire me to perhaps write down some of my own memories.
Do–it’s fun and self generating–stories emerge from the deep recesses!
I love it when you write about your past , Robin.
Oh, FUN!! And I just happen to have a cauliflower!!! Thank you, Robin!!
I love cauliflower and have to try this soup asap. Thanx
This seems a lovely simple meal to make, I read the recipe out to the diabetic husband and promised him that the next time a cauli jumps off the back of a tractor as they’re prone to do around here we’ll try it out ! The last free cauliflower (2 weeks back) was at the end of Godolphins driveway, a place you might remember from your Poldark mk1 days ?
Do indeed–beautiful house. Didn’t spot any cauliflowers when we were filming there forty years ago!
LOL kids are always honest. You probably did your Mom a favor.
Nice story about your Mom. I often thought about all the (delicious) meals my mother put on the table each day, thousands of them!, and I don’t think she was ever not pleased to do it for us. I can’t remember ever hearing a complaint. Today we think we are too busy to cook, but I think our mothers were just as busy and always found the time. And we all ate together around the kitchen table, every day!
I agree completely, Althea. we were very lucky.
Another soup recipe is always welcome, especially at this time of year.
I loved the story of your Mother and “Auntie” Rita. I did a similar thing, when I was 5 or 6. My sister, who is 12 years older then me, told me she didn’t really like the boy next door, who was her boyfriend at the time. When he next came round, I said “My sister doesn’t like you!. Since we were all sitting round the kitchen table at the time, there was a an awkward silence and then I was sent upstairs. I think my sister was grateful in the end!
Looking forward to getting my copy of your new book signed and meeting you and Meredith in London next week.
Lovely story, Helen. See you next week.
Lovely recipe, as always Robin! Can I suggest, as a vegetarian alternative, omitting the bacon and adding a teaspoon of smoked paprika to the onions just before they go in with the cauliflower and stock? It will still have that smoky taste so no need for a name change! Happy Eve of Publication Day…I see a great future for you newest ‘baby’! x
Yes, Rachel–good idea. I’m not sure I didn’t try it once–mists of time though.
I will try it next time.
Thanks for the good wishes–it’s exciting!
My go-to vegetarian substitute for bacon is smoked sundried tomatoes. I made the soup last night and it was delicious. A keeper for sure, but next time I’ll try it with the tomatoes out of curiosity.
Looking forward to trying the soup. Looks absolutely delicious. Lovely family memories.
Thank you, Maggie.
Good luck Robin, Now I know what to use my Waterstones book voucher for: I’ve been waiting a while for a decent book to come along.
Best regardsMary
From: Robin Ellis To: marytrussler@talk21.com Sent: Wednesday, 2 March 2016, 15:04 Subject: [New post] Learned at My Mother’s Knee: Cooking day-to-day #yiv6594584355 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv6594584355 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv6594584355 a.yiv6594584355primaryactionlink:link, #yiv6594584355 a.yiv6594584355primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv6594584355 a.yiv6594584355primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv6594584355 a.yiv6594584355primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv6594584355 WordPress.com | Robin Ellis posted: “It’s the summer of 1946, approaching 4pm one afternoon, in the kitchen of a house in Hampstead Garden Suburb, north London.Molly Ellis (age 31) is coming to terms with life as a full-time housewife in post-war Britain, looking after her young son in a b” | |
Thanks, Mary.
I hope you are enjoying what a coup it is to get excerpted in the Daily Mail. I have known cook book writers whose dinners I have attended, who seemed to me great cooks, and one who even prepared a beautiful manuscript with photos–and these people couldn’t get published. As far as publishing is concerned, you have reached the Pantheon. Felicitations mille fois. Also, Peggy was enchanted by your cabbage soup which we will have for dinner probably tomorrow.
Hi Bob! Well I am very conscious of how lucky I/we are. We have a friend who is an established and admired food writer, who had written a beautiful book on food in the southern part of France, who spent years getting it published. She did eventually and now we heard the other day her books are on the Thousand Best Cookbooks of all time list! But it’s tough out there.The diabetic angle is what tipped the scale for me, of course.
Hi Robin
As you say, the smoky bacon is a brill idea. Funnily enough, I did much the same the other day (without the bacon) but had some celeriac hanging about, and a bit of celery too. Whizzed it all – setting aside a few florets as per yours! – and it was excellent. I used all but the toughest outside leaves and stalks as well – all added to the taste and texture. Waste not want not!
Do hope you’re both well and surviving without the bells!
Love, M and V
Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2016 15:04:21 +0000 To: markanderson1001@hotmail.co.uk
Hi Mark.
Bell-less, yes but surviving; thriving even–though that’s tempting fate perhaps.
Another friend suggested substituting a tsp of smoked paprika for the bacon.
I shall try the celeriac add-on, sounds good. How’s Italy in your lives these days?
Love to you both.
You know reading your brief piece reminded me much of my background which is American and European, American in attitudes but European, Eastern European to be specific in ‘food’. I had such a culinary experience growing up so that to this day I have difficulty ‘eating out’. I think I experienced ‘Michelin’ eating every day and that included not only cooking but baking ….;-)…Yes mothers have given much!
And regarding pressure, looking back the Irish chefette in the household had such formidable shoes to follow in. And she did it with aplomb. We’ll be getting the new recipes soon.
Rich
Seems we were lucky and in my case Molly did it on a low budget and in 1950s England, where rationing ended in 1954!
I envy you the quality of your home-cooked meals!
What a lovely memory Robin mum use to do the same at the same time of year each in it’s tune.The Sunday. roast then Monday with chips or oh what we’re they called scallops was it? and veg if any were left from Sunday, nothing was wasted all was used, and Tuesday meat pie or stew if there was enough.
Looking forward to the book good luck hope you and Meredith enjoy the signing and meeting people.
Thanks, Elaine for the good wishes. That era, 1950’s, though tough for our Mothers, was a sort of blossoming time.
My sister and I grew up with the cookbook cum story of Scheher|e/a|zade: Scheherazade Cooks by Wadeeha Atiyeh 1960. In it is described how a poor family makes a full leg of lamb last an entire week, with the bones being used to hold the stuffed grape leaves (dolmades are Greek, don’t recall what the Arabic name is) above the simmering water that steams them.
Great cookbook for imparting Middle-Eastern food to the minds of little cooks–our mother was Lebanese.
Your story really made me chuckle!!😂😂
Great story Robin! Every parent has one I think. One year during a particularly contentious election cycle I had been inundated with phone calls in favor of one candidate or another. “I’m done with these calls!” I said out loud. I don’t care who calls next, I don’t care if it’s the President himself, I’m NOT talking to them!” As soon as said the phone rang again and I sank into a chair with a groan. Always ready to come to his mother’s aide my twelve year old ran to the phone and answered it “Hello? No, sorry, my mother does NOT want to talk to you. I know you think it is important, but she has made it very clear she thinks you have nothing of value to tell her.” He says all this while grinning broadly and giving me a thumbs up from across the room. A few more lines of rejection and he hangs up the phone.
“Well done son! Firm but polite.” I praised him. “Who was it?” I asked. “Your boss.” He replied nonchalantly as he left the room.
Well, I did say I didn’t want to talk to a
ANYONE.
GREAT story Maureen–are you still working for the company!?
Happily retired for a year now. And my boss was a great person and we often laughed at the story.
I can imagine, Maureen.
Lovely story!
Marina in San Jose
I always love reading your stories. And I’ll make the soup for sure. Sounds so easy and looks so delicious. I love cauliflower and often eat it roasted with just olive oil and coarse salt.
I made this soup for lunch today and it got five stars for excellent taste and flavor from my family. I did add chopped celery and carrots because I enjoy those flavors together. Mirepoix, I think it is called–with the onion. Congratulations on the publication of your newest cookbook. I look forward to trying many more of your recipes.
Thanks, Susan–glad you liked soup.
Dear Robin, a lovely story from a very precious childhood. It made me smile. If you want to know the truth ask a child… Today is the 3rd March – a memorable day for you and for Meredith. You’re in Truro… signing once again Cookbooks. Do you recall my prophesy upon receiving your second book? I wrote that I already saw your third Cookbook on the horizon… My most sincere congratulations and lots of luck to you both… Thank you for the very interesting cauliflower soup recipe. Another way to use this very versatile vegetable. With our winter just around the corner this will be wonderful…
Thank you Odette for your, as ever, kind comment. We go to Truro next week in fact–yesterday was the publication day–very exciting!
Oh Robin, this post made me laugh. The blunt honesty of children !!
My Aunt, a real one, in her young days had been a real sun worshiper. This was long before any advice about sunscreen and skin care was even thought about and sadly the ravages of this became evident in her later years. My son, also 4yrs at the time of this incident, was fascinated by the wrinkles. When we visited he would stare at her and I even found him trying to pleat his cheek in the mirror !!! However one day it just got too much for him and whilst sitting on her knee gave her an angelic smile and then asked ” Aunty, who crumpled your face?” I have never moved so fast in my life ! I don’t know about wrinkles or crumples but I gained some grey hairs that day.
Lovely story, Ros–thank you.
My diabetic husband–and other low-carb for any reason folks–uses cauliflower under pasta sauces instead of pasta, but I was at a German restaurant in Berkeley a week or so ago, and one of my troupe-sisters ordered the cauliflower soup, which I should have tasted. Resembled farina/Cream of Wheat/kashka.
I see the bay leaves and think of how my mother over-used them so that I don’t even keep them in my shelves.
My mother was merely adequate in her cooking. Before her stroke, my sister was a great cook, including presentation, which was not something I often considered. She’d get told that her mother must have been a great cook. She replied that she wasn’t, and she’d learned in self-defense. As with many good cooks, she’s dyslexic, and was before it was recognized. Her school time was for the most part miserable because it wasn’t understood.
My belle-mère lives with us, and except for her excessive-to-me use of commercial mayonnaise in her cooking, something without which I was reared, is a pretty good cook. At this point, there are fewer and fewer foods and ingredients that don’t wreak hell on her GI tract. Both her sons cook, I cook, and our son cooks, although he has a smaller répertoire, having been a picky eater early on.
One night, my sister was visiting and found that some of the herbs and spices, what few she used, were over 10 yrs old…because we had so few herbs & spices at home due to the limits of Mama’s cuisine, once I was out on my own after college, I bought every single spice and herb that was carried, except for black (the only kind we saw in the 70’s in ordinary groceries) pepper, which I loathed. Even the standard size container of salt took me more than 10 years to use, as it wasn’t used all that often before I married. I’m still a low-sodium person.
Some of those purchases didn’t take, and weren’t renewed, and other spices and herbs have come to my attention since then. I always wonder how anyone manages their jars on those tiny excuses for spice racks–I went from two double-decker lazy susans to a floor to ceiling structure built by my late beau-père, with lips, as we live in active fault zones. In our last home, it fit neatly at the end of some cabinets: in this place, it fits between the door-frame and the cabinets.
Marina in San Jose