Julie our travelling vet came in the late afternoon and confirmed what we sensed.
Marmalade’s cancer had grown in his mouth and he was having difficulty breathing.
His quality of life had diminished significantly.
He would arrive at meal times as usual, showing initial interest but quickly change his mind.
We spent the afternoon with him in the garden. He’d responded, as he always did, to a call–
Mar! Marmalade! Marmadukey!–emerging from the shade and joining Meredith on the grass.
He was a companionable soul.
When we were still living in London in the nineties, he and sister–much missed Butterscotch–were boarded at a place nearby between our visits. We would arrive to reclaim them and it only took a couple of calls for him to come trotting keenly out of the bushes to greet his people!
He was a head nudger: Bonjour! Good to see you.
(It runs in the family. Mother of all cats Pippa says thank you for food with a nudge.)
Stretching by the cemetery wall after my early morning walk, I’d suddenly become aware of a presence.
Looking up I’d find Marmalade looking down at me from just above head height.
As I pulled myself level with his head he’d nudge my cap: Bonjour! Good to see you.
I’d be foolish not to think there was a touch of cupboard love involved as he eagerly followed me into the courtyard heading for the kitchen–but the greeting was genuine!
Marmalade liked his food…
–and not only his.
There was a bit of the cuckoo in him too.
Orphaned Lucien–the tabby–a lone spirit, has a talent for finding comfortable places to park himself.
Marmalade would see a snoozing Lucien, check out the spot and decide that his “brother” needed a friendly lick-bath.
He’d judge it perfectly and move in on the nicely-warmed space when Lucien had had enough attention.
Mar has not been himself since snow white Beauty died prematurely aged 4, two years ago, followed last year by beloved sister Butterscotch.
Beauty hero-worshipped Mar (eight years his senior) from the moment he arrived. Marmalade was happy to give in and accept he was adored.
It was a touching sight to see them cuddled up together in apparent mutual admiration.
Since losing those two close companions, Marmalade seemed lost.
Young Beau–full of beans–tried to jolly him out of the dumps with his gleeful leaps and japes but dear, tolerant long- suffering Marmalade found it all too much.
Leave me alone old boy, I need a bit of a rest you know.
He lost weight and started getting ill.
His face became distorted, his breathing heavy and his left eye wept.
He was losing his magnificence.
He could still respond to a call and enjoy a moment with his people.
This week he took a turn for the worse and we called Julie–not wanting to prolong his ordeal.
So hard to judge the moment….
We kept our arms around him as he faded, lying full length on the kitchen table.
We buried him under the trees in the garden–beside Butterscotch and Beauty.
It’s the dailyness of domestic animals that makes their passing so difficult.
We miss his nudges, his quirks and the unqualified love he gave his people–for fourteen years.
Adieu! Nous te remercions–Big Mar.
Click below for Meredith’s touching tribute to a great cat.
so sad to hear of your loss – someone once said “the only disservice our cats do us, is not living as long as we do……” RIP Mar xxxxx
;”-( I truly hope there is a Rainbow Bridge. That Marmalade has crossed over and has reunited with Beauty and Butterscotch. xx
Oh my dear Meredith and Robin, how I feel for you. I lost my dear boy Soss in a similar way. As you say, it’s so hard to determine when the time is right to let go. Soss too was 14years and I miss him so much. He too is buried in my garden and I often look over there and send my love to him. I do believe he is still around me though and I get great comfort from that. Your beloved Marmalade will still be with you as well as your other dear departed little ones. Take care. x
So sad, cats are fabulous characters and really do become valued members of the family. This brought a tear to my eye and I thought about losing our own. A wonderful touching eulogy to a family member. My thoughts are with you both. :*(
So sad, cats have such characters and become really valued members of the family. This brought a tear to my and I think about how I would feel losing our own. A wonderful touching eulogy for a family member. My thoughts are with you both :*(
So sad. He looked so loving–and lived in a wonderful home. I lost my 14 yr. old cat this spring, and I still ache for her. She looked a lot like Beau. Beautiful tribute.
What a beautiful tribute to Marmalade. Thank you Meridith. We know what it is to lose a wonderful friend. I always try to remember I will see them again on “Rainbow Bridge” a beautiful poem that gave us comfort.
Robin, sorry for your loss. Sleep well, Marmalade and God Bless.
beautiful tribute to a beloved friend
So saddened for you to hear that Marmalade is gone.
I am so sad to read this post and I hope that you adjust to the change in the near future.
ohh.. So sorry to hear about his. Pets bring so much into our lives and don’t ask for much in return. A little food and some attention.
Tears streaming as I watched the heartfelt tribute to Marmalade. Such a beautiful soul that enriched your life in so many ways. Sending my sympathy to you both…
Your written words and Meredith’s tribute made me weep. Your love for Marmalade is very touching. I must agree with Anatole France’s quote..”Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened”. I, too, say adieu, Mar…God speed to Rainbow Bridge.
“He was losing his magnificance.” That says it all so succinctly…the point at which you finally realize that the time to say good-bye is close at hand. Your account of Marmalade’s delightful life with you two plunged me into memories of another formerly magnificent cat, our Norman, the wise and beautiful tabby who intertwined himself in our lives for 18 years. What a blessing it is to have a cat….or, better yet, cats….in your life! We said “no more,” but there was a hole in our days that is now filled by Carolina, a lovely ginger and white. Each is endearing in their own way. I love being a “cat person.” It’s one of the nicest compliments I can receive.
Bon Voyage Marmalade. You had a happy life and brought much joy to your people. Purrs from Jazz & Daisy (two tabby cats).
Robin and Meredith, your tribute to Marmalade is so touching. Marmalade was very blessed to be a member of your family.
My 20 year old male cat is struggling with kidney disease, but has a strong will to live. I have to remind myself that I may have to make a very difficult decision soon when his qualify of life declines.
Blessing to you both!
I’m so sorry about your loss! It’s always so difficult to say goodbye even when you know the time has come.
Tears! Such a beautiful blog post and beautiful tribute. Marmalade was lucky to have you both for his people. Making ‘the decision’ is never easy; it takes a very loving person to do such a brave thing for their friend. ~delayne in Minnesota (who reads every post and rarely comments but just had to this time because she totally understands….)
So sad to read this,and what a beautiful tribute from you both in wards and photograghs.Remember these happy times with him, for a am sure he has taken them with him.He was loved and loved back. My thoughts are with you both.
So sorry for your loss. I too have experienced letting a beloved fur-child as well. At age 13 my precious cat developed feline cancer that was inoperable. I told my dear “Phredde” to let me know when he wanted to cross the “rainbow bridge”, and he told me when he was ready. I held my baby when he took his last breath, and before he crossed over he looked into my eyes and I clearly heard him say “Thank you…I love you”, and he was peacefully gone. It was a very profound moment. We know we are special when one of these unique beings allows you to be their human. If only people could transition with such dignity. Sweet goodnight, Marmalade.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Meredith and Robin, What a beautiful tribute to Marmalade. The three of you were very lucky to be able to share the time you had together. May the joy of life that you provided to him help mend your grieving hearts. You have selflessly brought joy and contentment to your whole gang. Keep up the good work. Love and condolences to you both.
Sheila
I know that this is the life but it is very sad
I’m very sorry
dear dear marmalade,and a beautiful double tribute from meredith and you .thinking of you deeply.loveyour bro jackx
It’s hard to write with the tears flowing. What a heart felt tribute to your loved one.
So very sorry to hear about Marmalade. Our animals make life so much more special. Loved both your tributes–they brought back both the happy memories of our cats–Butterscotch, Blueberry Muffin, Seabiscuit, Midnight and lastly, Rusty, who seems to have been Marmalade’s twin. Just wish we’d taken more pictures of our friends–and now they are gone. Well, peace to Marmalade, and to the humans who loved him so much.
My Dear Robin and Meredith- I am so sorry! Your tribute was very touching. yes, it had me in tears. He was a beautiful boy! I have always had a thing for orange tabby’s. I am glad Marmalade is no longer suffering. What a GLORIOUS life he had. We animal lovers have all been through much heartache , but we must remember the love and care that we have given our furry friends. They will go on in our memories forever.
I am posting something for Robin and Meredith, and all of my animal lover friends on this board. It was sent to me by a co-worker when my beloved polydactyl cat, Claude was killed by a car. I was inconsolable, but this helped me to put it all into perspective.
I think this says it all:
Always in our hearts…..
“There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those
who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike
any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings and
walked its rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full
knowledge that they will be broken seems incomprehensible. Only we
know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no
matter how powerful it may be, is an insufficient measure of the joy
we have been given.” Suzanne Clothier
Hugs,
Judy
Those are remarkable words……….and so very true. Thank you for sharing those wonderful thoughts.
I feel so sad for your loss. I lost a great adopted dog, Cricket, years ago and I can understand your feelings. Love the ones that are here now even more.
Aww, so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful boy Marmalade is. I lost my beloved cat Oscar in May to Renal failure. I still miss him and grieve for him. But it’s the price we pay for loving our fur babies. this is a lovely tribute. Thanks for sharing.
Oh Robin I’m so sorry to hear about Marmalade. I’ve become very fond of him through reading about him in your blogs. What a lucky boy he was to have had you two in his life and to end his suffering at the end. A true gift.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Funny how these little furry guys touch our lives so much!
I have 12 and and wasn’t able to catch that final stray. I still feel so badly on missing him.
I am so sorry for your loss. It’s pretty evident that your kitties lead wonderful, fulfilling lives thanks to your love and support. We can never replace these four legged friends, but somehow their memories allow us to continue until it’s time to love another.
Robin, this is such a beautifully written tribute to Marmalade. The sorrow that comes from losing a pet is like no other. My heart goes out to you and Meredith. Much love, Randi
Oh. I’m so sorry Meredith and Robin. Sweet Mar, dear little love.
Love to you and Meredith as your grieve the loss of your companion. We have had both dogs and cats, and mourned every one we lost. You have memorialized your pets so beautifully, I hope it gives you comfort to remember how full you made their lives as well.
I am thinking of you, Robin, and Meredith, as well as Mar–and even while I am sad, I am also so happy that you all had one another during his lifetime. You will always have good memories, and he had a wonderful life with you. May these thoughts help you through the sadness.
Animal people know how hard it is to reach this point when our beloved pets are no longer able to sustain a good life—we know it’s necessary, but it breaks our hearts. In my family, we had cats all the time I was growing up. I am now married to a wonderful man whose one fault is that he is allergic to most animals. What saves me is that my sister lives nearby and has four cats. I am going to share this post with her because she has a special fondness for orange cats. I see in your napping photo that you, too, share that fondness. What loves our cats are, how much we miss them. Thank you for telling us all about Mar so that we can send our thoughts your way. Peace.
I am so sorry for your loss Robin! What a sweet kitty boy, I would have loved to have known him. I have had cats myself, I have a dog now, I dread the day when Maya has to leave me or then perhaps me leaving her.
I love how you have shared your loss with us. So very specail.
Farewell dear Marmalade!
So sorry to hear of your loss. As a fellow cat and animal lover, I know how hard it is. You’ve shared Marmalade’s story and personality so well.
Dear Robin and Meredith, So sorry for your loss.The love of cats is so great, they don’t ask a lot and you get so much in return.It always hurt a lot to lose a pussycat.I had several very nice cats before and even so many years later it’s still painfull, I still miss them. O, yes we have pictures of Duchess, Molly,Pim,Toulouse de Bobo, Pusky I, Pusky II, Minie Mouse, Peckie, Minnie, snoozy-pussy and so many others.Now we have Puske-puske (she’s the boss, here lol).I fear, when something would happen to her one day, she’s about 8 now I hope still many years to come.I wish you a lot of luck with the other animals you still have.I sometimes ask myself what would life be without them, not the same I think.My sincere condolences.
A beautiful tribute post – &, Meredith, your gorgeous photos with music & words made me cry. What a noble boy! We have no cats, currently (due to the presence of a naughty fox terrier) but our last…little tabby Papagena, died in similar circumstances at 16. If you don’t want your heart broken, don’t have an animal…I know this to be true, but I couldn’t live without a ‘heartbeat at my feet’. Rest is peace, dear Marmalade. What a happy life…and the best death anything could have, surrounded by the people who loved him and everything he knew. Thinking of you both x
So sorry for your loss! What a beautiful cat! And it was a truly beautiful tribute! He had obviously had a great life with you and knew he was loved. It is so hard to lose a cat. So big souls in small bodies. Thinking of you and meredith.
Such a lovely, heartfelt tribute by you both. You gave Marmalade a life of beauty, wonder and fun. He is not lost to you but playing in the fields with Beauty and Butterscotch until you all meet again.
What a wonderful tribute to a beloved friend. It is so difficult to lose a cherished companion. Our pussycat crossed over the bridge six years ago & we still miss her (despite having four hulking German Shepherds!). Thinking of you both.
What an amazing tribute–thank you so much for sharing it. Cats are such amazing creatures that steal your hearts and bring you so much love and joy. My condolences on the loss of your beloved Marmalade.
I’m too sad to write anything signifcant but I’ve been there 4 times. Still love and remember them all.
Very touching on youtube, tears on my keyboard.
Meredith writing here: To reiterate what I wrote on Robin’s Facebook page:
This is the third cat we’ve lost in 2 years–so we are really feeling it.
Your comments have been very comforting and supportive. Robin and I have been so touched.
Judy cites a moving quote on all this above: “There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals…. our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will be broken….” –Suzanne Clothier.
Easy to OVERLOOK this part of the equation when we first admit an animal friend into our hearts!
Thanks to all you animal lovers and compassionate souls who responded so warmly–and sometimes shared your wisdom & your animal stories too.
I’m writing this while my kitty, Emma, is curled up on my bed…snoring. Thank you for sharing your memories of Marmalade – and all your kitties. You have become like an extended family. {{Hugs}} to you all, furry ones included.
I confess that i have eyes full of tears wacthing the video shared by Meredith. I can understand your pain and the lost of Marmalade will be in your hearts forever. Now he is “over the raimbow” with his fur-friends and God take care on his soul. He was a very beautiful cat and I imagine very intellingent…as are every reds cats. I loved seen how was sweet with all your others cats and taken care to his similiar. He is now happy with my sweet beloved immortal female cats: Micia, Bianca and Micetta : good luck dearest kittyes, I wish you all a wonderful 2nd life in the paradise…. love, Bea.
Writing here to you, with tears on my eyes… and Sophie (my tartle kitty) arriving around my legs…. taken little kisses with her tongue….oh my God, cats have the most sensibilty that I never known….. love, Bea.
Dear Robin & Meredith,
It’s hard to read what I’m writing through the tears. I feared the time would come too soon when you would post this sad news. I’m so, so sorry for you. When we lost Oreo, I told my sister that I’d hoped to have at least another year with him, and she said, “Another year, or even two or three–it’s never enough.” Robin, the worried look on your face in the photo says it all. But the other photos are so much better: Marmalade looks quite content and CHERISHED. He was much loved, and I don’t care if they can’t talk–animals KNOW when they are loved and you KNOW they love you back. You were good to stay with him at the end; not enough people are brave enough to do that. But I really think it makes it easier on them. I pray we’ll be with ALL of our loved ones again one day. It will be a joyous reunion!
I love Dianne’s posting here; how right she is, on all counts.
I once saw a Tshirt (that I have always regretted not buying), where the gates of Heaven are open to a newly arrived woman–and there are scores of cats, with the caption “What took you so long?” That is what I’m hoping it will be like because there are certainly many fur babies waiting for me, whom I miss deeply, no matter how long it’s been since their passing.
When the great horse “Barbaro” had to be put down after many of us shared months of hope for his recovery, Gretchen, his owner, told us:
“Grief is the price we pay for Love”
Isn’t that the truth. And I wouldn’t forgo the love to avoid the grief, hard as it is when we lose our “babies.”
Meredith–the quotation is perfect; how true. But I have always thought that once we lose a pet, when we are ready, another beloved animal comes into our lives. So many animals need homes! And I know our departed fur babies are saying, “Well, I know how much love you have to give, so please do continue to share it with other ‘babies’!”
Oh precious! Would that we could all pass away in the arms of those we love. A head nudge to you both at this difficult time.
Dear Robin,
Please accept my sincerest condolances. I know how hard it is to lose a cherished family member. I have gone thru it more times than I can to think about and having 8 yorkies now I am drending each and every one. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Meredith. Making that decision is one of the hardest to make. I like to think of them over that Rainbow Bridge romping and playing with other cats and dogs while they patiently wait for us to join them. Know that he trusted you and you served him well in making sure he did not suffer and had an easy journey over. God bless you. And as Diane P said it will be a joyous reunion.
Robin and Meredith, I too have experienced the loss of two of my beloved cats in the past year. The pain is so real. One of my cats was named Sophia, she so much like Marmalade. I have a picture of them on my wall above my desk, which states that they shall “live in our hearts forever.”
so sorry to hear about Marmalade, especially for Meredith. Just had a good cry while watching your video. Poor old Marmaduke. No more suffering. Bless him.
Just realised my mistake. Sorry! ( Must realise by now, I am an idiot!!)
Dear Meredith and Robin,
So sad to read about Marmade, made me feel sad too. I think Marmade was a very special cat for you and it is a bit empty in your house without him, you miss him and we will share this with you… so all the best to you both and the other cats, who need your loving!
Love Caroline
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve never had family, so each time I’ve lost a cat it has completely torn me apart. The best solution for me was always to adopt another as soon as possible, but you’re lucky you have your other babies. Marmalade was beautiful and I’m sure he had a wonderful life.
Robin and Meredith, I am so sorry to learn of your sad loss. I once had a ginger cat also called Marmalade. But the main thing I wanted to say is that I also lost my beloved cat to cancer on 30 April this year. Quite unexpectedly, she had been vomiting on and off for a while, she always had a sensitive tummy as did her brother, Ford, who lives with my daughter – I tried all kinds of cat foods, finally a vetinary prescribed one, she was fine at first but vomited again next day – sadly she did not seem very ill in herself so I was not too worried at first. The next day I took her to the vet, not for once thinking she would never come home – but he diagnosed her cancer in a few minutes – on her liver and told me that I should let her go asap to be kind. I was devastated – as you will understand.
But the ultimate thing I want to say is that, last Sunday I adopted a grand old lady from the local Battersea Home, he name is Charlotte, another black cat as was Tilly, aged 14/15 and she is the sweetest soul ever. No cat can ever replace it’s predessor, but they certainly help to heal the pain.
Marmalade certainly looks very loved and happy in her pictures, and she obviously had a wonderful life with you – friends told me that Tillie had gone to the Rainbow Bridge, as I am sure your lovely Marmalade has.
i just went back and read the blog when Butterscotch passed. So Lil Mo’s and Marmalade’s mother (Pippa) is still with you? How is she doing? To think she out lived her offspring.
Oh my, a little sage peeps out from those expressive eyes. He must have simply outgrown his fur coat. So sad, and so sweet. Meredith and Robin, you are truly generous to share both the joys and sorrows of your beautiful life with those of us out here in cyberspace. Wonderful photos, glorious cats. Now everyone loves Marmalade! Maybe he’ll come back to you soon in a brand new set of mittens. Sorry for your mournful time, but gladness still surrounds you. All those happy cats! They are lucky to have you. xoxoxo
Adieu sweet, dear friend! What a splendid and much loved companion you were and always will be. A beautiful soul, indeed. And bless you Robin and Meredith for your open hearts, open home and loving care for all your feline friends, my heart breaks for you. Many thanks to you and all the other compassionate people who’ve synthesized their feelings of loss so eloquently, here. As a woman owned my many cats, past and present, I relate utterly and teary-eyed. I will raise a glass to sweet Marmalade this evening. Thank you for sharing Marmalade with us. God bless, dear Mar.
I wept when I first read this news and do so again as I read these comments. Robin and Meredith, you use your creative gifts in so much of what you do and give every day. Thanks for sharing the love, the art, and even the grief. Thanks also to those who have also written so movingly here.
Robin and Meredith, I took the liberty of adding your dear Marmalade to my fb friends memorial to their dog, Alex a German Shepherd who sadly died early this year, my own cat was added, my cousin’s little cat who also died shortly after Tillie, and my son’s cat Maggie who was 18 and passed away this year. We are hoping all these little fur babies are now at the Rainbow Bridge along with your Marmalade. x
So sorry – he looks a lovely fella. we have a ginger boy – they are loving companions. i do like cats. Ali x
Thank you Robin and Meredith for your beautiful tributes
I just read about your lovely cat. I am so sorry. I, too, have lost a cat companion. His name was Hamish. He was a long haired ginger kitty who was a stray that we took in. He slept on the middle of my back and loved anything with a tomato in it. My husband buried him in our garden and I always plant a tomato plant on him. He died almost three years ago this week and I still mourn him greatly. As I sit here typing I am crying for your loss as well as my own.
Reading your comments brought back old memories, still bringing hurt with them. We lost Ginny, our wonderful black oriental (half siamese). with mouth cancer. On her last night I fed her with liqued food,and she lay in my arms purring in my ear all night. It is a sad memory which I treasure, knowing I had helped her feel content on her last night on earth. Years later, our Burmese, Poppy, suffered throat cancer, and as it began to interfere with breathing and eating, we had to make the decision for her. I still miss them horribly, so I know how you feel. WE take in rescued cats, to give them love and security in their old age.We have 6. Like you, we couldn’t be without our cats. My thoughtd and feelings are with you
formerly known as Suejoy. changed my display name as I am Joy not Sue
We know we take on future heartbreak when we take an animal into our lives, but where would we be without them?
The sad loss of the wonderful actress who played Demelza has led me to your page. I’ve long, long been a Poldark fan, first watching that wonderful first series, then reading the books and collecting them as Winston Graham wrote the later ones and of course the second series. My family say I can quote scenes off by heart!
I’ve just been reading your blog and have read about Marmalade. I lost my wonderful Dusty only at the end of May this year and know just how the loss of a such a lovely companion is like. She was 17, rescued from the RSPCA as was her little brother who is missing her a great deal. Rest in peace Marmalade.
Regards
Jan in Worthing, West Sussex
Hello, Jan, from another fan in Worthing, West Sussex!
The sad loss of Angharad Rees so young brought me to your blog yesterday. Your cats are all so beautiful. I have a particular week spot for ginger tabbies. My cat who ‘adopted’ me happened to be a ginger tabby. He is beautiful, intelligent and sweet-natured. As a fellow cat-lover we have all been through the grief of losing a much loved puss. But Marmalade clearly had a wonderful life with you and I am sure he more than repaid all your love and care. Cats are such wonderful companions, each with their own distinct personality.